A Ghost of Daisies

Today my boyfriend of 26 months and 22 days and I broke up. It was cordial. We even went to lunch together afterwards and then sat in his car for an hour talking about work and catching up with each other. The official reason is “we weren’t together anymore.” I thought I’d feel lighter, more on track, but tonight I think I feel lonier than ever. I was fine before him and I will be after him. However, the world seems a little sadder when love has gone. We discover and make love so easily and even easier, we let it slip away.

I went window shopping and wandered aimlessly around for awhile. The night air was balmy. Almost warm. It did not carry the snow it had earlier in the week. The weather felt like summer and then I remembered my best friend. I haven’t seen her in three years. I feel a little worse for the wear tonight.

I spent all day studying for tomorrow’s GRE with my boyfriend. We mostly went over algebra problems though he also corrected my misconceptions in regards to the arithmetic portion. I came home afterwards and read up on the writing sections. I did not do so well on the analogies portion of the practice exam (how do I do that if I’m not sure what the words are?) but I don’t know of a way to study for it.

I have to be up at 6:30am to make it to the testing center on time. So far I’m scheduled off work tomorrow, but after the exam I’ll probably call in and see if they need my help. Saturday was wretched, but 13 hours this week isn’t going to pay the bills.

Keep me in your thoughts as I go forward!